The Screaming Woman

Have you ever been in the forest, in the mountains, alone, at night? No street light a block down giving a muted halo. No LED lights from sound systems scattered like stars around the room. No reflected red light from an alarm clock. No cell phone with a handy bright screen or flashlight feature. No porch light or welcoming glow from a lamp.

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It’s not just dark, it’s Stygian.

On the night I’m going to tell you about, there was no moon. The mountains, the ridge line, and the trees blocked out all but a tiny square of sky.

I wasn’t a city girl back then, having grown up in a farming town. But at the same time I definitely wasn’t a mountain girl either. And yet circumstances placed me in the Pacific Northwest mountains. Alone. Well, except for a dog who was equally out of her element.

In the middle of that very dark night, I woke to a woman screaming. What else can you do when someone is in desperate need of help, but grab a flashlight and go? I took the dog with me, who shook as bad as I did. I reminded her that she was half German Shepherd, but she didn’t believe me.

My imagination was vividly awake. A car accident on the road? Was some woman out there in the woods, lost and afraid?

I followed the wavering flashlight beam down the long, narrow driveway with nothing but trees crowding in. Trees that anything could hide behind. I listened so hard that my breath was held captive. I searched until the cold night leached under my skin and numbed my nerves.

I don’t remember how long I stumbled around before giving up and returning to the pile of blankets still retaining a warm pocket. The screaming had ended. I went to bed fully expecting to find a body in the morning.

By the way, this was before cell phones and where I was, there was also no electricity, let alone land lines. And in all honesty it never crossed my mind to drive out to the road and find a pay phone.

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What I do remember is this.

The next morning was bright and sunny and clear and crisp. Early summer in the mountains. I drove to the nearby tiny town to open a post office box in the back corner of the general store. Outside the store three elderly men lined up on a wooden bench, watching life. I could hear one as I got out of the car.

‘Did you hear the cougar last night?’

Me, tentatively: ‘What’s a cougar sound like?’

‘Just like a woman screaming.’

I’ll end with this thought. I walked around in that dark night with a flashlight trying to save a cougar.

Well – Loved Books

A friend loaned me a book today. Rosemary Gladstar’s Family Herbal, and between the pages was one perfect pressed leaf. Once home I flipped through the book, not looking for specific herbs, but looking for mementos of a well-loved book. Or a well-used book. Which is probably the same thing. I found leaves I recognized and others I didn’t.

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Big Leaf Maple, Vine Maple, some Alder

Many years ago when I started baking bread, one of my sisters gave me the Tassajara Bread book. I opened it to old bits of flour, squished and petrified bits of dough, and scribbled notes throughout. She knew that this would mean more to me than a brand new version. The recipes stood for years of her not just following them, but learning, tweaking, and experimenting. I still have the book and still use it.

I found a book at the second hand store that I haven’t read yet and really don’t have any desire to. I bought it because, throughout the pages, there are little tart comments in shaky, elderly lady handwriting. Rather like one of my books that is full of my grandmother’s commentary in the margins.

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An elderly friend’s diary that I inherited.

Do you write in your books? Do you leave mementos? Do you dog-ear a page that has words that mean something special? Do you make the book your own?

I don’t do that with all the many, many books of fiction in the house. But I write in books on writing and other non-fiction books. I mark pages I learn from, pages that grab my heart and pages that sing to me with beautiful language. Oddly, Barry Lopez’s book, Arctic Dreams is heavily highlighted, underlined, starred, and dog-eared. I say odd, because I did not expect a non-fiction book on the Arctic to read like poetry.

But it’s more than just signs that someone was moved by something on that page. The pressed leaves, the bits of flour, the fading penciled old-lady words are like ties that bind me to the readers. There’s a connection with that old lady, even though I will never know who she was. The herbal with its pressed leaves shows me another wonderful personality trait of my friend. It’s like walking an old path with companions, touching what has been, sharing the words.

I’m sure I’m going to enjoy the herbal and learn from it. But what warms my heart and makes me love the book before I even start reading, are the leaves that someone took the time to pick up, dry, press, and lay between pages, with the words, waiting.

One For All

Forgive me a lapse into teeny-bopper crush mode.

BBC’s The Musketeers is coming back for a third season. All I have to say about that is…PORTHOS!!!

Okay, I’m back to ‘adulting’ now.

I read Alexandre Dumas’ books in junior high, with my favorite being The Three Musketeers.

(An aside – does anyone say ‘teeny-bopper’ or ‘junior high’ anymore, or am I dating myself?)

As a result, the character of Porthos caused me to dump my first crush, Huckleberry Finn, leaving him behind on that raft so I could run off wielding a sword.

I’ve watched all the incarnations of Musketeer movies over the years. My favorite was the version with Oliver Reed as Porthos. Other female hearts pitter-patted for Michael York as D’Artagnan. Not me.

One thing the movies have in common is an underlying theme of humor – of almost slapstick humor. Again, think of Michael York and Raquel Welch. And in some versions that slapstick humor was done with such a heavy hand that the original characters and story lines were barely visible.

What I love about the current incarnation from BBC is that the slapstick humor is gone. This show is not a comedy. From Peter Capaldi (loved him in Local Hero) who is amazing as Cardinal Richelieu, to Season Two’s Marc Warren as an excellent, villainous Rochefort. Scary bad guy with a tortured past. And Howard Charles as Porthos…well, as I’ve said, I do like that character. Even Constance becomes a strong young woman, especially in season two, and not just the female prop to D’Artagnan.

Okay, season one was a bit rough, as new seasons can be, but wow, season two. More fully developed characters, great story lines, multiple layers of conflict everywhere. I should add a caveat here that my husband says what I consider to be excellent, award winning television, most people consider ‘B’ shows at best.

Alexandre Dumas (assumed, by the way, to have had at least forty mistresses) wrote The Three Musketeers in 1844. In well over a hundred years, that story is still with us. Just like countless others written by countless authors, over hundreds of years that pull us in with the timeless hero’s journey. Even today books on writing dissect the hero’s journey for us struggling writers. People have spent their lives writing essays and books on why these stories still resonate so strongly in our psyches.

Not me. I’m going to return to Porthos.

What has been the appeal of that one particular character? I mean, D’Artagnan is always popular. Aramis with his love of women certainly attracts his fair share. As does Athos with his doomed love for Milady D’Winter.

It’s that strong silent type. You know what I mean. The character in the background, with the mysterious past, the gruff exterior, and that hidden sweet soul that only a few chosen ones get to see.

Hmmm. Just realized I married someone who very closely resembles that description, minus the mysterious past. I guess the character of Porthos left a lasting impression on my teeny-bopper, junior high heart.

I’m not sure yet when season three will be released but I’m going to see if I can pre-order it. I mean, after all, ‘adulting’ just isn’t as much fun.

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BBC’s ‘The Musketeers’ from www.express.co.uk