Invader Zim, Ruler of the Universe (Zim for short) came to us as a tiny kitten found in the woods with his mother and promptly named by our son after a cartoon character. He is now around fifteen or so, and refuses to live in comfort in the house. He will come inside, but only if the door is left open. Because we live where it snows, my husband built him a box on the porch that has a heat lamp, bed, and even a small window.

He also has a cat perch where he loves to sit and look in our living room window. My husband says we are his fishbowl and he likes to sit there and watch our activities. I think it allows him to be part of the family without being inside.

The thing is, he has my husband trained and unfortunately, my husband’s recliner is right next to the window and the perch. Zim waits patiently until he sits down and finally gets comfortable, and then bangs his head on the window. Not gently, not a polite knock, but a bang that you can’t ignore. I don’t know how he hasn’t ended up with brain damage. Zim, not the husband. Although, who knows. Because it drives my husband nuts.

Zim bangs when he wants food. When he wants cream. When he wants my husband to come outside and sit with him. And my husband is very well trained. Plus he has a finely developed sense of guilt so he can’t just sit there reading while Zim whacks his head on the glass.

So this weekend we moved all the furniture in the living room. Completely swapped the whole thing so that the recliner is now next to a window that does not have a porch or a cat perch and is not where Zim can see the husband. I wondered how many people rearrange their whole house to accommodate a cat that doesn’t even live inside. But it gave my husband peace of mind and allowed me to deep clean before winter.

So we outsmarted the cat.

For one evening.

Zim can no longer see us so he has started yowling. Loudly. For me, it’s no big deal as I can just take out the hearing aides. For my husband, with acute hearing and that guilt complex, he’s back to jumping up to get cat food.

Zim, ruler of our universe, has prevailed.