Oh, the Drama!

Years ago, a small boy in a small town dropped to his knees at my feet, lifted his hands to the sky and yelled at the top of his lungs, ‘I’m going to DIE!!!!’.

It was Halloween. It was snowing. His mittens were at home and his hands were cold.

And then my son said ‘B… gives full size candy bars!’ and they were both off and running, immanent drama forgotten. Until they came back and this little boy dropped to his knees again.

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I believe that person still gives out full size candy bars. (Name withheld to protect his candy stash) And note this town is small enough that it doesn’t have city limits. Just one limit.

He had my full understanding and complete sympathy with the drama.

Years ago when my parents married, our new family needed a bigger house. In the process I realized I was going to be irrevocably torn from my boyfriend.

I was nine. He was my boyfriend because he always tried to catch just me when we played horses. You know, in the playground at school, where girls are the horses and boys are the horse thieves. And here I was being forced to move.

I knew I’d never, ever be happy again. How, you might ask, can I remember back that far? Because I wrote in my little diary ‘I’ll NEVER EVER BE HAPPY AGAIN!’

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Yeah…I’m also not gifted with being able to read the future.

Yes, I wrote it in all caps. I meant it. So much, that when we moved I took my favorite pajamas and hid them behind the bedroom door. I planned to sob uncontrollably in the new house, knowing my parents would move us back. Those pj’s are probably still behind that door.

So yes, I understood the drama. Have I outgrown it?

Of course not. What self-respecting writer doesn’t live in drama? How else can we give it to our characters?

A couple days ago I was feeling overwhelmed and discouraged with the editing process of the current work in progress. At that point it was the worst thing ever written, etc., etc., etc. So did I get to work editing?

No. Instead I told my husband I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt joy.

And sniffled.

And thought, I should write a blog post about joy. Not happiness, but true, deep, joy that makes you feel almost incandescent. I’d been thinking about the difference between happiness and joy after I heard a speaker ask if what gave us joy aligned with what we did. I thought I could write about how joy has been missing for a long time.

Or so it felt at that moment.

My husband knows me very well. Instead of laughing, he said all the wonderful supportive things that needed to be heard.

Art and Arthur Vegas

My men know how to find joy, especially in Vegas.

This morning I drove to work very slowly. Luckily I was the only car on the highway. The music was blasting, it was just beginning to get light so the snow was glowing, and…guess what? I looked at the high mountains and the trees and thought, there’s a little incandescence glowing inside at all that beauty. I kind of think my inner joy was laughing at me.

So instead of writing a blog about joy, I decided I better write about the little dramatic child who occasionally drops to her knees and raises her hands to the sky.

She’s alive and doing well.

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My husband’s view at work. His place of happiness.

12 thoughts on “Oh, the Drama!

    • With computer problems lately I’ve been having to type with one finger on my Kindle. I have made lots of those mistakes! (There’s been a little cussing, too.)

  1. Funny, I’ve never put the two together… drama and creative people. You’re exactly right! Now that I think about it, I may have a tiny bit of a dramatic streak… okay a big one. Don’t you just love it when you have an epiphany? Thanks for that!

  2. Thanks for the gentle poke. It’s so easy to get focused on the drama that the joy gets pushed aside “for another time.” It’s also easy to forget that sometimes the people around us need those little words of encouragement from us to help them reconnect with their joy. It sounds like you and your family have that figured out!

  3. So glad that dramatic child is alive and well! And I love the way you walked us through these stories … and the visual of your pjs behind the door in your old house! 🙂
    — Stacie

  4. Love that snowy picture! What a view!! and I know, Index. lovely little town. I do not live too far from there. and yes, creative people live extreme emotions, that is why we have to create! or else we would explode. 🙂 nice post!

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