I’m in that fallow period between writing projects. Waiting for Otherkin to move through the publication process and waiting for a new story to come to me. It’s like the winter season, quiet and dormant, cozy and gestating.
In the meantime I’ve made a few discoveries relating to hearing.
Several years ago I lost hearing in one ear. Three little bones that should vibrate, calcified. Surgery replaced them with an implant that didn’t work. More recently, my ‘good’ ear has been getting worse. So I gave in, got a referral, and found out just how bad my hearing actually was.
I didn’t realize how much hearing was related to context. When face to face with someone, in a conversation, able to watch faces, you can anticipate what the words are going to be. But when you’re in a little room alone with headphones on and a specialist speaking random words with no context, it’s a completely different matter. I couldn’t figure out any of the words. After a series of interesting tests, I left with a graph that showed where normal hearing was, and where mine was, way, way, way down at the bottom. I also left with an appointment to come back and be fitted with hearing aids. When my husband saw the graph, his response was ‘Sh**, you can’t hear f**k all’. Succinct and true.
This past week has been the trial, and I’m not adjusting well. The hearing aids are extremely painful, there’s a loud echo to everything, an odd high-pitched regular beeping like a miniature car alarm in my head, and, of course, noise. Most of this will be adjusted at the next appointment.
In the meantime, I’m startled by noise. Birds! So many birds. The squeak of the floorboards. The sound of traffic. It took me way too long driving home to realize the odd breathing sound I heard was cars passing going the other direction. Conversations and clanking and voices of strangers. It all sounds so exaggerated.
It’s made me realize how quiet my world has been. How muffled. I can no longer hear my own heartbeat. I’m no longer cocooned. Which has made me realize I’m not sure I want to be in a noisy world.
Hearing aids are going to be fantastic at work and out in public where acoustics make it impossible to pick out individual voices. I can see other benefits, too, such as the fact that music will play directly into my hearing aids and no one will know.
I find myself using the pain though, as an excuse to take them out. To return to that quiet place with just my heartbeat. I might choose to only wear them at work.
There’s something to be said for quiet, for the ability to remove hearing and step away from the noise. I suppose that’s why people use ear plugs, putting something in, to find quiet, rather than taking something out to prevent sound.
Though I think my husband just said something. He hasn’t realized I took the hearing aids out. This might actually end up being fun. Either way, it will be an interesting learning curve.
Lisa Stowe - The Story River Blog 
Amazing what you hear when you first get a hearing aid! I got one for my bad ear years ago and I remember being particularly delighted at the sound of the little plastic ends of my shoelaces (there’s a word for that, I’m sure of it) tapping against my shoe when I walked. I had it for a number of years, but it broke (my horse’s nose collided with the side of my head) and after a while the super glue just wouldn’t hold it together any longer. I never replaced it although I probably should.
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I could see how a collision with a big horse nose could impact hearing aids! You need more horse stories in your books…
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wow Lisa, I knew about the hearing loss in the one ear but not at all how severe. Just getting those test results has to have been a shock.
My mom has had hearing loss most of her life and it’s only gotten worse, she had hearing aids for most of my life. The mask wearing part of covid was so hard on her, without full facial expressions she couldn’t hear hardly anything.
You will find your own unique way to adapt to this and for my part I will make sure you can see my face when we chat, which I hope is soon
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I hope to see you soon, too.
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I just read your entry backwards, why? I don’t know, I just went with it. lol I think I am near to getting hearing aids, but like you. I enjoy the quiet. Do I want to hear every single ping of a needle hitting the floor? Not really. But, I can see in restaurants where it would come in handy. and stop the leaning forward and saying “What!” Anyway, a new journey. good or bad there is always a silver lining in there somewhere. That is my hope talking now. lol I think it is true. And in that silver lining, another story. 🙂 Haven’t spoken in a while, but stuffed away and healing. You have cabins by a river in Index for rent???? I thought at one time you had said so, asking for a reason. take care 🙂
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I haven’t stuffed my but away, i meant I been stuffed away lol
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So nice to hear from you, Amy! I don’t have cabins to rent, but there are air b’n’b places around. If you google Index or Skykomish Washington, you will probably find some. If any catch your eye let me know as I’ll probably know about them. I’m kind of intrigued about reading the blog backwards…that’s supposed to be a good editing tool as it forces you to actually see each word since they’re out of context and order.
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I was asking because my daughter had gotten an air BNB in index right on the river. I thought you had one of those, the contact was David. Anyway, I am just being curious. I am crossing my fingers that her bf proposes to her there!
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David is a wonderful person! I’ve known him for years. And I’m very familiar with the place they’ll be staying in. There are many hiking trails within walking distance on the other side of the bridge. Let me know about the proposal!
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