Markers of Age

May 8, 2015May 8, 2015 / Lisa / 6 Comments

What are the little realities in life that make you suddenly pause and think ‘how can this be?’ (with a slightly panicked tone of voice)?

What little clues rear up and bite you in the rear when you’re not looking, that make you whip around in shock, thinking, rather hysterically, ‘hey now!’?

Let’s list them, shall we?

When your little sister is older than you and you don’t know how that happened.

When your baby comes home for a visit. Think about that a moment. And then, when you ask your husband if he has any cash so you can get a coffee to keep you awake for a work meeting, and your son pulls out his wallet. It’s just SO wrong when your child gives you money instead of the other way around.

And let’s not even talk about gray hair. Well, okay, let’s talk about that by gloating first and saying that both older and younger siblings as well as friends, have had gray hair a long time. At least it happened to them first. And if you’re reading this, neener, neener.

Then there’s the little things.

Realizing that you’d rather go to bed when it gets dark than stay up all night debating what’s wrong with the world and making plans to save it.

Learning, way too late in life, to say what you mean, speak up for yourself, be blunt, be honest, and no longer care what others think. If only that wisdom could have been in my brain during the tortured high school years.

Realizing that you have friends who have been best friends for longer than you ever would have dreamed when you first met them. Over forty years now that I think about it, which blows me away because in my brain we’re still in our twenties.

And speaking of that, the weird dichotomy of your brain convinced you’re considerably younger than the calendar says.

Outliving your parents and realizing you’re never too old to be an orphan, and how wrong that is.

When the doctor says specific, humiliating physicals are needed because you’re now at ‘that age’.

Or, if you have a doctor with a sense of humor, like I do, tells me that out of the Celtic female trilogy, I’ve flown past ‘maiden’ and ‘mother’, and am now a ‘crone’. I told him I prefer ‘wise woman’. He laughed.

When you read obituaries and see the deaths of those in their seventies and eighties and realize those ages are starting to appear on the horizon. Still distant, but starting to peek out at you.

Okay, I’m depressing myself. Think I’ll go borrow some money from the kid and figure out something to do that will embarrass him.

That’s the flip side. The ability to throw off society’s expectations and do whatever you want, knowing people will whisper ‘poor thing, must be getting senile’ and that they’ll be too polite to make you stop.

Hmmm. This could be fun.

Remembering War

May 1, 2015May 1, 2015 / Lisa / Leave a comment

The anniversary of the end of the Vietnam war today. I remember that ending. Sadly, I saw this anniversary mentioned in few places in the internet world/news. NPR had a story about visiting the memorial wall, which I have also seen. But other than that the internet seems to be full of the usual celebrity fluff, cat videos, and tag lines such as ‘When I saw this it blew my mind!’ and prompts such as ‘Hit Like if you agree!’. Oh, and please let us not forget invitations to play games.

This anniversary though, is especially poignant for me because these were young men, 18, 19 years old. The age of my son right now. I worry about his ability to grocery shop let alone heading over to be part of things no one should have to go through. And yet, have we as a people learned anything? At the end of each war we think, now we know better, now there will be no more. At least until the next one. I would like to start a debate, even at the risk of that debate becoming a shit-storm.

Please don’t interpret my comments that follow as support of Hilary Clinton, or as a slam against specific religions or even about race. I don’t mean to slide into arguments/discussions that can’t be resolved, such as religion and politics. I’m talking war here, nothing more. Although, that topic, too, will never be resolved.

It seems, throughout modern history, we have been led by men and there has been war. I have no facts to back this up as I am not a philosopher, sociology professor, anthropologist, or historian. Yet it seems to me when there have been riots as are happening frequently now, the looting and destruction are predominantly young men. I ask, what is it about men of a certain age, to seek out violence? Of all the murders committed throughout society, what is the percentage of male killers vs. female killers?

When a man sends a son off to war it appears to be a fearful moment of pride. When a woman sends a son off to war it seems to be just fear. Yes, yes, I know that’s a broad generalization. I know there are exceptions to everything we say. Yet I still can’t help but wonder what would happen if we returned to a matriarchal society, to women who were healers and mothers first. To religion that recognized the female as equally divine, such as goddess and god, not just a male God. Again, I am not slamming or supporting one religion over another, just wondering what would happen.

Honestly, I think in these days not much would change in spite of a somewhat idealized hope. After all, we have women in the military, women are strong and capable and able to fight, shoot, and defend. And as a woman I’m proud of that.

But would there be war?

I guess we won’t know until a day when our leadership is not made up of only old, rich men.

For today, I remember Vietnam, those who never returned, those who returned but never healed, and those who had to let them go. I remember all who were touched by that war, on all sides of the conflict.

The Theme of Blurbs

April 26, 2015 / Lisa / 2 Comments

I’m struggling to write a cover blurb. You know, those little bits on the back of a book that make you want to read it. I swear the dang things are harder to write than the whole novel. They have to do so much with so few words.

One of the things they must at least allude to is the theme. Or maybe it’s the premise. I get them confused. So yesterday I went back to scraps of paper all writers have. Where you hear something, read something, think of something…and jot it down with no idea what you’ll do with it later. I am really bad at not also jotting down the source. So unfortunately I can’t attribute the following quotes to the very wise person who wrote them. I do know they came from a book on writing.

‘Theme is the central concern of the story, gives it focus, and is the invisible thread linking elements of the story.’

‘Premise is linked specifically to the conclusion, the truth proven by the story’s events and ending, often reflecting the protagonist’s journey of understanding and can be summed up in a simple statement – one character must be changed by what the premise proves. The premise and ending must always reinforce each other.’

You’ll notice that the explanation of ‘premise’ has a lot more words than the explanation of ‘theme’. I believe that’s because a writer is more aware of the premise while writing. It’s a tool used to tie all aspects together. The theme on the other hand, typically doesn’t show up until the edit process. Or for some, like me, four books into a series. When the thought bulb suddenly lights up and you realize that your stories all see to have the same underlying meaning. Plus, premise is usually explained in at least one complete sentence, where theme is typically explained in one or two words. A phrase maybe, if you’re lucky.

If I have an idea of the theme, and know the premise, those two tools give me the words that I know must be included somehow in the cover blurb.

The following statements and questions also help craft the blurb.

‘Is the protagonist ever in danger? Failure to solve the problem must seem to promise disaster.’ If you know the danger, the solution, and the disaster, you’ve pretty much got your key words for the blurb.

‘The inciting incident creates the first goal, upsets the balance, and is needed in act one.’ If you go back to the opening, find the inciting incident that starts the whole story rolling, then most of the time that also gives you the opening of the blurb.

So with all those tools and wonderful suggestions at hand, is my cover blurb done, perfect, and ready to grab readers?

Not even close.

But at least I know what one should look like if I ever finish one.

Here’s the view from the back door this morning. Much nicer to spend time gazing upon, than looking at empty pages with the nagging thought ‘finish that blurb!’.